Argument 1- how people have become dependant on it socially.
Finding friends, classmates, dates? No problem. There's a site for that. From social groups to online dating, people have turned to the Internet to connect. Sites such as Facebook and Match.com fills this quota in a simple and convenient way. With a click of a button you are "connected". There are more than 300 million active users on Facebook. 50% of these active users will log on to Facebook on any given day. The fastest growing demographic are those 35 years old and older (Facebook). This means even the older generation is getting in on this. This has changed the face of social networking in many ways. Its simple to post on someone's wall and its an extension of the cell phone and e-mail. We still have that. When people are too far to see face to face, to supplement the relationship people can talk to them on the phone or e-mail until they can be able to see someone in person. Until then, the phone, and words in the mail, will be your contact. In today's world that is common.
That's for the people you know. For romantic relationships sites like Match.com or Chemistry.com have become the modern matchmakers. It opens people to meet people they might otherwise have not met. It's their device to romance. Of course, people actually have meet in person. The downside to this is that people often can and will present themselves in way that is not completely accurate to who they are. Either by editing out things that might be a turn off to a potential mate or filtering e-mail responses to be a certain way. The world of internet dating is not always truthful. Of course, who in real life ever is? In some ways that is representational of the actual world, presenting a personal that you want to represent yourself. In the digital medium it just makes it easier to do so.
Argument 2- How people have become economically
Digital technology has even influenced our work ethics. Many people utilize tools like spell check as a replacement for proofreading. As a result of our frequent usage of things like text messaging or messenger, people get used to writing a certain way. Its an impediment to our spelling and vocabulary. Its faster to acronym and short spell words like "what" to "wat" or "I don't know" to "Idk" but as a result there are more moments where we get used to the misspelling and almost forget how the actual word.
Argument 2- How people have become economically
Digital technology has even influenced our work ethics. Many people utilize tools like spell check as a replacement for proofreading. As a result of our frequent usage of things like text messaging or messenger, people get used to writing a certain way. Its an impediment to our spelling and vocabulary. Its faster to acronym and short spell words like "what" to "wat" or "I don't know" to "Idk" but as a result there are more moments where we get used to the misspelling and almost forget how the actual word.
Our whole economic system is digitized. The stock market is monitored by a ticker that updates people every few seconds on the change in stock value.
Argument 3- We have become mentally dependent on technology to stimulate us.
We use digital technology to keep us entertained and to stimulate us. Things such as television, the internet and video games distracts us from the dreaded boredom. Phrases like "I'm bored." often pass the lips of today's teen. Its funny, because when my mom sees me online she says that I am boring for being on there. But we use technology to keep us entertained and in many ways it is one of our main sources for our entertainment. Television, video games, and internet keep us in a constant state of frenzy, because we never. Sometimes the result of it is that we are overstimulated. Since the invention of electricity the hours that the average adult sleeps has dropped from 9 hours to 6.9 hours. Part of the reason why is because of technology people and they constantly plugged in and the artificial lights are kept on even when they should be asleep. Light communicates with our immune system and metabolic energy system and having it on after ours the light-and-dark cycles are interrupted. Another reason is that since technology has reigned the working people are able to work even after hours through things like.
Argument 1 people have become dependant on it socially.
-Online Chatting (Sources Feed)
-Online Dating-Match.com/eHarmony etc (NYTs)
Argument 2 How the economy is dependent on technology
-capitalism/consumerism/advertisements
-Stockmarkets
-Online Chatting (Sources Feed)
-Online Dating-Match.com/eHarmony etc (NYTs)
Argument 2 How the economy is dependent on technology
-capitalism/consumerism/advertisements
-Stockmarkets
Argument 3 people are dependent mentally
-Spell Check
-Video games, Television, and internet
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ReplyDeleteYu-xi
ReplyDeleteHey sushi,
I think your thesis can be a little more i dont know um I guess in a way bring the reader to be o wow. But maybe you can come up with a good hook to tie in your reader. To get them going, o I need to read this paper.
I love how you start off your 1st body paragraph. It sounds like on of those ads you see on line or as a commercial. I feel like that is very much what technology does to drag you into using it. I also like how you added statistics and numbers in your evidence, giving good examples to how many people use those social networks even got the age group which I never knew, I would have expected younger then 35.
O I like the insight you give on the relationship networks. How you compare us hiding ourselves with the real world and on line, but online is much easier.
I think you can also add feed as an example to argument two. The Feed kept giving them ads from different stores so that they would buy. Violet even had a good quote that was like The corporations are making us easy to market to (something like that). I feel like you can connect this to the world today because there are always ads and commercial trying to get us to buy things. That we most are concerned with wearing the brand labels and who they get to wear the merchandise so that teens or people will buy them.
Just in general pay attention to your grammar but other then that it looks like this will be a very interesting paper. Looking forward to reading it
note: posting this comment before the third argument was added and will add later when the 3rd argument comes
ReplyDeleteI thought your thesis was very interesting but I thought you could tighten it more, because I keep feeling of being cut off when I read it (I think its my stupidity that made me not get it).
After reading your outline, I don't really see much that I can help with. It's a really good outline and your resources looks good. I think maybe adding more of your own experiences to the first two arguments because I think basically a lot of what we are learning right now through Andy and other people is from us, the students and particularly ourselves. I also think if you want to use it as your evidence since you have a lot already is Feed. Because a lot of what you are saying is connected to Feed since the teenagers and the majority of people in the book is being dependent on the Feed. They go to the Feed when they want to buy something; they go to the Feed when they are in need of something; they go to Feed to help them do homework.
I think you can explain more of the wall street and economic stuff (continuing what you are writing from your second argument).
Yes I agree with the "I'm bored" statement but I feel that from what you wrote there is not really connecting to your thesis. I think being bored doesn't count as being dependent. Or maybe it can be because we are dependent on the technology, we just need to wait for it to happen and that period of waiting is what makes us bored or something.
I also wonder why people say something that they do as well. I think we contradict ourselves a lot despite we do the same actions and I think that is because what we are doing like technology can never leave us.
I'll be waiting for your third argument =D.
Dear Yuki,
ReplyDeleteI like the ideas that you want to put inside of your big paper. I like the fact that you talk about how technology is over used and how it is in everything u use. I also like when you talk about how technology is even in our love life. It seems to me like you have clear and detailed arguments and your thesis is also very clear and understanding. Your evidence is also good but i also what you to use one more source. I think you should definitely use andy's lectures as some of the evidence because we talked about how teenagers and een adults use digitalization to much. I don't know if I saw it, but some other evidence that I also think you should use is the interviews and surveys. Use the answersthat you have got from people on the street on how much technology they use. It would be good information if you pick the 2 or 3 of the best interviews that can mostly connect back to your thesis.
But other than that it seems like you have a good outline and you are ready to start writing your big paper! Like anybody else would say, make sure that you don't have any grammer or spelling mistakes. Otherwise start writing, I can't wait to read it!