Just because

My challenge to you all is to write about what you're grateful for in response or just because :) This is kinda like the final, assignment, that was unwarrented

idk, i'm feeling thankful about things and want to share that, so I hope you guys have things to be grateful for too, ie i'm grateful finals is over and we're all going to college :)

"I am grateful for what happens when blue and yellow make out"

I'm grateful that people are nicer than you give them credit for, I'm grateful to be alive and to be able to experience life and to have met all the people I have. I'm grateful for my friends, to have people who are so gracious and sincere, who annoy and also love me, but I also love and appreciate w/ all my heart, even if i forget that at times, i really really am happy to have you guys in my life. I'm grateful for the happy moments, and the sad ones that make me appreciate them, I'm grateful to the people I've meet who went above and beyond for me even when they didn't have to. I'm thankful and I want to say thank you, I've appreciated all of it.

Whether people read this or not, I wanted to put that out there :) thanks. for everything and anything. yeah.

Babies

1. Did one culture, shown in the film, have a better way of parenting than the others?

Based on the movie, no one culture had a better way of parenting than the other. These parents all tried their best to prepare their children for society and attempted to instill the socities' culture in them from the moment they were born. They all tried to make sure the child was happy by dislalying numerous methods of affection (i.e. hugging, kissing, and singing gently).
The children are, respectively, in order of on-screen introduction: Ponijao, who lives with her family in Opuwo, Namibia; was left mostly to her own devices, but her mother held her on her back while she was working. Bayarjargal, who resides with his family in Mongolia, seemed to be left mostly with his brother or by himself and the animals, and I think this parenting style makes lead him to become more independent. Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan had alot of toys and care. Hattie, who resides with her family in the United States, in San Francisco, recieved constant attention; her parents seemed attuned to her every need and determined to satisfy her.

2. How did each family prepare the child to take its "place" in their society? Did communication, cuddling, supervision, discipline line up to "mold" the kid for that society? Or do you think that a kid from one society would have been able to transfer successfully/easily at age 1 to one of the others?

Each child's experience was diffierent in numerous ways. They learned of their culture by imitating what their parents and siblings did and in doing so they allowed each of their cultures to become a part of their identity. Parents and siblings showed them what was appropriate and what was not; they were who the child looked up to and saw as an role model. By age one, the child seemed accustomed to his/her style of life. By age one, Ponijao, the child from Africa seemed accustomed to walking around naked and singing tribal songs. It would have been difficult to bring him to a city where he would be fully clothed and immersed in a culture greatly different from the one he had experienced. The babies all had toys. Ponijao used rocks to hit other rocks, which helped wiht his cognitive development and learn that it made sounds and he could erode the rocks by putting it next to one another. Mari and Hattie, had toys that showed them that as well in addition to learning classes. Hattie had a baby yoga class and Mari had a mom and daughter class with other moms and babies, which got her used to other people and kids her age. Bayarjarul played with animals, sitting on the goats and cats. The parents would talk to the babies so the babies would pick up on the language of their culture.

3. What looked universal - common to all humans - from the film - at least as edited? Why is this universality significant?

Love and nurturing appeared universal from the film. Each parent displayed affection towards their child, taking care of him/her and playing with the child. They cuddled with their child, and played with them, by waving objects over their head. This display of love is very important because it's one of the most important things that a child needs to grow. A child needs interactions with his/her parents because it is neccessary towards the child's cognitive development. Affection is also important for a child's self-esteem because it makes them feel as if they are loved and it helps them grow into secure, healthy indvididuals.

Interviews and Survey Question

Melissa
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Someone who has similar values, interests, who likes to have meaningful conversations but also have fun. Not take life so seriously but have times that we do talk about big issues. Someone I can count on to listen when I need to talk and give me sound advice even if its not what I want to hear.

What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
Kindhearted, flexible, openminded, concerned citizens.

What makes someone close and someone not close?
Somebody who is honest but not judgmental is someone I like to have close to me. Someone who makes it a point to be adversarial just for fun, I keep at arms length. I like to spend time with people who its comfortable and easy, even if they push my thinking, but not at the stake of me feeling like I always have to save face.

What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
The people I become really really close with there was a natural connection from the beginning. In some ways its through alot of common time together that relationship becomes closer and more developed. Based on proximity time, and a general spark, initial spark of collegiality. Even a romantic relationship, I feel that spark is like with a friend, where their life is and how you can get close to that friend.

Na
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Mmm...I guess someone who will understand and root for you, or if you choose to do something they tell you if its good or not and try to guide you and not just choose whatever and get on with it.

What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
Understanding, Good listeners, Try to guide you

What makes someone close and somewhat not close?
Someone who's not close is just a hi-bye person. Someone who's close is someone you can talk to and stay with more than an hour.

What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
I think when the other person is sharing things with you, they're saying I want to be closer than just friends with you.

Lauren
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Loyalty, a good listener, honesty, good advice, humour

What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
They're funny, honest, and give good advice

What makes someone close and someone not close?
Being able to call them whenever with your problems, someone not close you can only talk about subjects and keep very light.

What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
When I felt comfortable opening up to them on a personal level.

I feel like everyone brought up some very distinctive and subtle points on friendship. Melissa bought up good points about how people get closer, through time and proximity, because alot of our friends who become close to us are close through spending a lot of time together. The things that she said she was looking for in a friend was also what I looked for with my own friends as well as people who are not friends, are also the people I also try to avoid as well, people who are adversarial and judgmental just to be adversarial and judgmental.

Common qualities that people seem to look for in a friend is someone who listens to them, and is there to give you sound advice, even at the times you don't want to hear it. I think Na and Lauren, distinguished certain things to tell how you know someone is a close friend or not. Like, being able to talk to someone for more than an hour and wanting to, and with Lauren, its also someone you feel comfortable enough to call whenever because you don't feel like you are bothering them with your problems, you can count on them to listen (which is also something Melissa brought up as well). What seems to really distinguish a close friend from just another friend is the comfort level you have with them. Like judgemental/confrontational aren't really things that make people feel comfortable many times, it makes them feel self conscious or defensive, so most people choose close friends that aren't that.

How close do you think you are to your parents? (1-5)

HW 55

Original Question: What are primary causes for bonding in relationships?

Revised Question: How do we fall in romantic love? What hormones/areas of our brain are activated to indicate this?

Touch- Emotional closeness can be indicated by physical closeness.
The more comfortable you are with people the more you're comfortable with being close and touching them. If you're not as close there is an invisible comfort zone to how close you can get voluntarily. It's intuitive and yet not necessarily obvious: It's the continual search for a basic, secure connection with someone else.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200812/hold-me-tight

For Romantic Love, several areas of the brain are activated:

-For a start, a relatively small area of the human brain is active in love, compared with that involved in, say, ordinary friendship. “It is fascinating to reflect”, the pair conclude, “that the face that launched a thousand ships should have done so through such a limited expanse of cortex.”

-The second surprise was that the brain areas active in love are different from the areas activated in other emotional states, such as fear and anger. Parts of the brain that are love-bitten include the one responsible for gut feelings, and the ones which generate the euphoria induced by drugs such as cocaine. So the brains of people deeply in love do not look like those of people experiencing strong emotions, but instead like those of people snorting coke. Love, in other words, uses the neural mechanisms that are activated during the process of addiction. “We are literally addicted to love,”

(From brain scans of people who said they were madly in love)

Fisher, Helen. "Oxytocin, Chemical Addiction, and the Science of Love." Economist 12 Feb. 2004. Web. 13 May 2010.

Oxytocin: Love Hormone

Oxytocin is released during hugging and intimate touch; it also plays a strong role in sexual relationships, which is why sometimes people we feel closer with we're more comfortable hugging. Any positive experience can increase oxytocin levels – and so can simply recalling positive events. Simply put, oxytocin is associated with positive relationships. Oxytocin reduces fear, increases eye contact, and increases trust and generosity. This love hormone causes people to act differently – though they don’t necessarily feel different.

University of California, San Diego (2008, February 14). Love Hormone' Promotes Bonding: Could It Treat Anxiety? ScienceDaily.

Things that affect why we fall in love

"Smell. We fall in love partly because of smell. The scent of a bouquet of red roses, for instance, is a cultural preference that boosts the chemistry in romantic relationships. Dr Kristal says, “Smell forms part of the framework that conforms to cultural attractiveness standards. For example, smelling like a strawberry instead of mildew [makes you attractive].” Smelling delicious could be part of why we fall in love.

Love pheromones. Invisible signals are part of what makes people fall in love. “Pheromones are unlearned, and perhaps unsmellable, signals that enter the brain through the olfactory system. They can function in sex, alarm, territoriality, aggression, and fear,” says Dr Kristal. He believes that we choose specific mates not solely due to pheromones, but for other reasons. Other sensory cues are better explanations for why we fall in love, such as touch, smell, and hearing.

The brain. We fall in love partly because of hormones. Oxytocin and vasopressin are present when people fall in love and stay together for a long time. Dopamine is also part of the chemistry in romantic relationships. So, when you’re wondering “Why doesn’t he love me?” you may have to look to brain chemistry as the answer. It’s not necessarily you, it’s just that your brain chemicals didn’t mesh. Lack of hormones could explain why we fall inlove."

Pawlik-Kienlen, Laurie. SuitePyschology. What makes people fall in love. 6 Januarary, 2008.

HW 54

Extroverted (E) 54.29% Introverted (I) 45.71% Sensing (S) 52.38% Intuitive (N) 47.62% Feeling (F) 57.5% Thinking (T) 42.5% Perceiving (P) 54.76% Judging (J) 45.24%

I seem right about 50-50 for most of it, give or take 3-7%. That makes sense since I've always been paradoxal in nature. I think if I took this test a year ago, I'd probably get a more introverted result, since I've lived more in my head then. But that's just me changing again. I tend to stay around the middle though, almost right in the middle for any personality tests I have taken. I'm leaning more towards extroversion in general. I find though that the more I talk, the less I think, because when I talk I just say whatever comes to mind, without review or filter. Which I find detrimental, when it comes to school assignments like this which require more analytical thinking and its like using a muscle you haven't warmed up or put to much use, the muscle has atrophied.

For the Big Five, I got this as a result.

Extroversion	||||||||||||||	56%
Orderliness	||||||||||||	46%
Emotional Stability	||||||||||||||	58%
Accommodation	||||||||||||||	52%
Inquisitiveness	||||||||||||	48%

Extroversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun. Emotional Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Accommodation results were medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests. Inquisitiveness results were medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative. It said my type is calm. Calm (6.6% of women; 16.3% of men) not easily hurt, rarely if ever loses temper, keeps emotions under control, positive, not prone to envy, rarely sick, self reliant, trusting, stable, sturdy, optimistic, fits in most places, not defensive, likes change, if they were to live life over again they would not change much, content (possibly over content), believes in choice more than fate, good at building things, good at taking advice, does not make enemies, good at fixing things, admits it when they make a mistake, gets along with others, has more desire than fear, motivated, self confident, believes the benefits of freedom outweigh then benefits of attachment

HW 52- Initial Theories on Human Relationships

This is more of an (basic?) observation than a theory, but we get closer to people by sharing things about ourselves. This may be deep and personal things or just the same interests and likes or the daily mundane details of our lives which we may find interesting. They're both as important in forming relationships, having those common interests in music, food, or books to having those deep and meaningful conversations. We feel closer to people who share things about themselves because it feels like we know about them a little more then we might others. So this process is reciprocal, and I guess our close friends should know more about us then people we might consider acquaintances or friends who aren't as close.

There's also a timing and way of receiving it, which influences how the disclosure goes. Sometimes people who disclose too much too soon might scare off the other person. But also when we disclose something about ourselves we want to be "understood" not just "heard" so how attentive and responsive the other person has a big impact on whether the listening that occurs leads to something more or falls to the ground.

Friends
We hold alot of friendships I think. Friends are supposed to support you and be there for you. Friends are supposed to be the ones who "understands your past, accepts your present, and believes in your future". They're the ones who stick with you even when times are bad. They aren't always like that, but good friends are. We've had all sorts of friends, good and bad. They're the ones who comment or criticize the things you do as "lame" or "stupid" just because it isn't something they would typically act, I think it kind of gets tiresome if you hang out with people like that all the time because they're basically rejecting that part of you. If that part doesn't do any harm to them or yourself, I don't see why it should be like that.

Relationships
In relationships people tend to change. Sometimes they lose themselves in a relationship, sometimes they mellow out, sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes they forget their friends because the person they're seeing becomes their number one priority. I think before people get into a relationship, they should have a strong sense of self, and don't lose that just because they're with someone else. I don't think people should change themselves just to appease other people, because in life people come and go, friends and family, and there's only one person that'll be there the whole time and that's yourself, so if you change yourself just to appease someone else they could go and you'll be stuck with the person that you changed it.

Lets Dance to this song

this reminded me of this class
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJsp5WH-Yas