What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Someone who has similar values, interests, who likes to have meaningful conversations but also have fun. Not take life so seriously but have times that we do talk about big issues. Someone I can count on to listen when I need to talk and give me sound advice even if its not what I want to hear.
What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
Kindhearted, flexible, openminded, concerned citizens.
What makes someone close and someone not close?
Somebody who is honest but not judgmental is someone I like to have close to me. Someone who makes it a point to be adversarial just for fun, I keep at arms length. I like to spend time with people who its comfortable and easy, even if they push my thinking, but not at the stake of me feeling like I always have to save face.
What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
The people I become really really close with there was a natural connection from the beginning. In some ways its through alot of common time together that relationship becomes closer and more developed. Based on proximity time, and a general spark, initial spark of collegiality. Even a romantic relationship, I feel that spark is like with a friend, where their life is and how you can get close to that friend.
Na
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Mmm...I guess someone who will understand and root for you, or if you choose to do something they tell you if its good or not and try to guide you and not just choose whatever and get on with it.
What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
Understanding, Good listeners, Try to guide you
What makes someone close and somewhat not close?
Someone who's not close is just a hi-bye person. Someone who's close is someone you can talk to and stay with more than an hour.
What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
I think when the other person is sharing things with you, they're saying I want to be closer than just friends with you.
Lauren
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Loyalty, a good listener, honesty, good advice, humour
What kind of personalities do the people who are close to you have?
They're funny, honest, and give good advice
What makes someone close and someone not close?
Being able to call them whenever with your problems, someone not close you can only talk about subjects and keep very light.
What shift/turning point made someone turn into just a friend to a close friend?
When I felt comfortable opening up to them on a personal level.
I feel like everyone brought up some very distinctive and subtle points on friendship. Melissa bought up good points about how people get closer, through time and proximity, because alot of our friends who become close to us are close through spending a lot of time together. The things that she said she was looking for in a friend was also what I looked for with my own friends as well as people who are not friends, are also the people I also try to avoid as well, people who are adversarial and judgmental just to be adversarial and judgmental.
Common qualities that people seem to look for in a friend is someone who listens to them, and is there to give you sound advice, even at the times you don't want to hear it. I think Na and Lauren, distinguished certain things to tell how you know someone is a close friend or not. Like, being able to talk to someone for more than an hour and wanting to, and with Lauren, its also someone you feel comfortable enough to call whenever because you don't feel like you are bothering them with your problems, you can count on them to listen (which is also something Melissa brought up as well). What seems to really distinguish a close friend from just another friend is the comfort level you have with them. Like judgemental/confrontational aren't really things that make people feel comfortable many times, it makes them feel self conscious or defensive, so most people choose close friends that aren't that.
How close do you think you are to your parents? (1-5)
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