HW 52- Initial Theories on Human Relationships

This is more of an (basic?) observation than a theory, but we get closer to people by sharing things about ourselves. This may be deep and personal things or just the same interests and likes or the daily mundane details of our lives which we may find interesting. They're both as important in forming relationships, having those common interests in music, food, or books to having those deep and meaningful conversations. We feel closer to people who share things about themselves because it feels like we know about them a little more then we might others. So this process is reciprocal, and I guess our close friends should know more about us then people we might consider acquaintances or friends who aren't as close.

There's also a timing and way of receiving it, which influences how the disclosure goes. Sometimes people who disclose too much too soon might scare off the other person. But also when we disclose something about ourselves we want to be "understood" not just "heard" so how attentive and responsive the other person has a big impact on whether the listening that occurs leads to something more or falls to the ground.

Friends
We hold alot of friendships I think. Friends are supposed to support you and be there for you. Friends are supposed to be the ones who "understands your past, accepts your present, and believes in your future". They're the ones who stick with you even when times are bad. They aren't always like that, but good friends are. We've had all sorts of friends, good and bad. They're the ones who comment or criticize the things you do as "lame" or "stupid" just because it isn't something they would typically act, I think it kind of gets tiresome if you hang out with people like that all the time because they're basically rejecting that part of you. If that part doesn't do any harm to them or yourself, I don't see why it should be like that.

Relationships
In relationships people tend to change. Sometimes they lose themselves in a relationship, sometimes they mellow out, sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes they forget their friends because the person they're seeing becomes their number one priority. I think before people get into a relationship, they should have a strong sense of self, and don't lose that just because they're with someone else. I don't think people should change themselves just to appease other people, because in life people come and go, friends and family, and there's only one person that'll be there the whole time and that's yourself, so if you change yourself just to appease someone else they could go and you'll be stuck with the person that you changed it.